its okay :)

Does anyone else feel like they're just living in a nightmare?

Sometimes I think I am going to wake up after a long sleep and I'll think "what a horrible dream!" then be able to get up, see my friends, go to sixth form (and actually sit my a-levels aha.)

The days we are living in are going to go down in history, our children, grandchildren will study this in history lessons - it is a crazy time.

Even though I try and remain positive and optimistic, I have my down days!

Yet don't we all? I guess what I am trying to say is that it's okay. It's okay to cry, shout, be moody. Do not feel like you have got to remain strong 24/7 - that's not humanly possible!

I'm talking to myself as I write this as well. I  constantly tell myself I need to remain strong for people around me as what use am I to people when I am upset. I don't like to burden people with my worries or problems. However the thing is, that is the only way we are going to get through this. 

WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER   

Who else has loved how the community has really come together during this time? I actually don't get out much as I find it really hard and actually quite stressful to social distance where I live, but the times I have been out I have seen rainbows and chalk drawings on pavements and elderly people sitting in their garden talking to their neighbours with a cup of tea. I love it! Obviously, I do not love the cause for these things but I love how everyone has just bonded together. This is because we are all in it together.

Personally, I find Mondays the hardest. The past two Mondays I think I've just cried all day aha! By the time Tuesday comes I am back to my usual self but to me Mondays are so difficult. My sister facetimed me and Monday and we had a chat. After that I came up with a new mentality.

Some people have had real losses during this time and honestly if you are reading this and that is you I am so sorry and my heart breaks for you.

Thankfully all my family and family friends have been safe and well, but I still get really down sometimes, and I am sure you do to.

Everyone has their own thing. My eldest sister, living with two children under 5, trying to homeschool, entertain, potty train, put up with temper tantrums and not get any time to herself. My other sister is pregnant with her first child, she's missing out on showing her bump, going shopping for things, NCT classes , baby showers etc whilst also having the anxiety of is our family going to even be able to hold the baby when it is born at the beginning of the summer (that in itself makes me sad to , after being an auntie twice before I can't imagine not being able to hold my new niece or nephew.) Then there's me, both my parents still working as they are both key workers (my mum being a nurse so alot of anxiety around that) therefore I spend most days in our house alone and being an extrovert this is very difficult for me, after having a very horrible breakup last year my a-levels were the thing that kept me going and were my focus. Now they have been taken from me and I find myself overthinking the breakup and having memories of the relationship. After being at my school for 7 years, we won't get a proper goodbye or a prom. People my age will miss out on that summer after their a-levels and I'm missing celebrating both my best friends 18th birthdays with them which is a huge milestone in ones life.

I would do anything to be my eldest sister and have kids to play with and people to be around and to actually have a structure with my day, or even my other sister, living with her husband and still being with someone and having something to look forward to with her baby.

That's when I realised, they would probably do anything to me right now, I have so much time to learn new skills and I have a lovely big garden and I do have loads of friends that I  talk to 24/7, I'm still so young so I have my whole life ahead of me. So what is the point in comparing ourselves? Everyone has got their own personal struggles during this time, and it's about being there for eachother and empathising with eachother. It's about learning to be satisfied with what you have and being thankful for what you've got and who you have got around you! 

I absolutely HATE the saying "everyone is in the same boat" I think it's a load of rubbish. We are not all in the same boat. I like to think of it like this : we are all in the same sea, the situation, yet we each have our different boats, as we are all dealing with inner battles during this time.

How can you help someone today? Who do you think needs a bit of extra love during this time?

Stick with this mindset- No ones life is perfect right now, we want things others have yet others probably want what we have, so lets be content with what we have and remember the blessings in our life.

Its okay to have bad days, don't put too much pressure on yourself and remember, you are doing great.

Remember we are stronger together and lets keep our community together.

All my love, Anna Ruby xx