long time no see
I believe honesty is the most important trait in a person. So I'm going to be honest with you, I've been lacking motivation. I started up this blog so that my experiences on life advice from my short 17 years alive could be put out there and help people. As that's all I've ever wanted to do, help others.
So when I felt like what I was saying wasn't impacting anyone ; I gave up.
NEVER GIVE UP WHAT YOU ENJOY
I would say one of my best traits is resilience so I'm quite ashamed in the fact I gave up for a bit. One of my favorite bands , for king and country a christian band , recently bought out a new album and on it has a song called "Never Give Up". It spoke to me , yet still in my mind no ideas no passion was coming to me on what I could write about. Eating my lunch today I thought on exactly what to write about.
Disclaimer about this story- I know its so stupid and everyone will laugh , I too laugh now.
Yesterday evening I went up to Covent Garden to meet some friends and it was a lovely time. Now. I'm a very anxious traveller so on the train back, it wasn't late around 10:15, I called someone just to chat. When at Waterloo the sign said the train stopped at "Vauxhaull, Earlsfield, Clapham Junction, Wimbledon," then my stop afterward. So after Wimbledon i got up and got off the train at the next stop; to see that I'm at the wrong station. Suddenly panicked , I shouted down the phone "I'm at the wrong station!" and tried to get back on but the train drove off. Yes I know could only happen to me right. Anyway, the train station wasn't far from my house , only a 15-20 minute drive but I still felt awful that my Mum had to drive all the way from the other station after being at work till 8pm. After calling my Mum in my most 'please feel bad for me voice' I called back the person I was already on the phone to in just a very anxious state. The train station wasn't very nice and I'd never been there before. As I was panicking the other person started to panic and again I felt awful! I went to bed feeling like the worst person alive and that I never help anyone. I woke up in the same mood.
small things count
However, last night as i was walking round the station trying to find an exit whilst on the phone with my headphones in probably looking like an idiot , I saw a man probably around late 70's struggling to carry two large heavy suitcases down the stairs. "Would you like any help?" I called out to him expecting him to say no although he answered "Yes please dear." Now, I am not strong in the slightest so it still took two of us to carry one suitcase but bless his heart he would have not been able to do that himself. I believe everything happens for a reason and I believe this to be the reason I got off the wrong stop however that's a completely different blog.
This morning I woke up and honestly , I wasn't my favourite person about last night. I felt so down about myself ,and thought I just don't know how I help anyone anymore.
I help out at a 7-11 year old youth group at my church and at 11 I was meeting with the man who runs it just to see how it was going. Afterward I felt so encouraged. Without me knowing, I was helping these children. I am a role model to them. He told me "keep doing what you're doing it's great." I thought, maybe I am helping at least some people even if they are children. Walking home, I like to walk as many places as possible as I believe it's best for your mental wellbeing, I bumped into an elderly lady from my church who is in her late 80's. She was struggling to carry her shopping and she walks ever so slow. Every sunday at church I talk to her as it hurts me to know she spends most of her days alone. So I went up to her and said "hello! would you like me to carry that home for you?" So i walked the rest of the way with her and it was so refreshing to talk to her. When we got back to her house she was ever so greatful and again I thought, oh well I just helped someone else.
I got back home and realised how stupid I'd been.
Okay I want you to think. Think of all those times people have given you a compliment. Think of all the things you are good at. Think of how many times you have helped someone.
There is alot and do not say there isn't as I know there is.
You, whoever is reading this , has a purpose in this world. Otherwise why would you be here? You can go and do great things, powerful things. Go on , I believe in you!
So from now on, I promise to write more, I promise to believe in myself. However that is a two way street, You must believe in yourself as well.
Go and fulfill your purpose.
Lots of Love , anna ruby xx
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