all my life I've disliked school
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| year 3 me was tiny my rucksack was basically half my height |
I remember my first ever day in reception- I ran in the classroom and instantly made friends and enjoyed the whole day whilst everyone else was crying and really shy. That came to me later. During reception whenever I got dropped off I would cry and cry until no tears could physically form anymore. To be honest sometimes I still feel like crying whilst walking to school now 11 years later aha. I went to two different schools - 1 from reception to year 2 and then another from year 3 to year 6. Those years if anyone spoke to me , looked at me I would go red and just hide away in my shell. I would cry at the tiniest things and get anxious over the smallest situations. I remember always being called a crybaby or always being called the overdramatic one: and even though that was very true it really affected my self confidence.
The summer before I went into year 5 I was in hospital due to drinking too much water. This is a very touchy subject for me to talk about but it's part of my life and part of my testimony so I need to talk about it. Whenever I wasn't drinking water I couldn't breathe and started hyperventilating and would shake like crazy. My Mum took me in and I was tested for diabetes and loads of other medical things I couldn't tell you. Eventually they ruled out any physical problems and decided it was psychological.
This made year 5&6 very difficult.
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| year 5 me what a joker |
However I had the BEST teachers. The amount I grew in confidence was unreal. My last day of year 6 we had a leavers assembly and I got a certificate from my headteacher saying I was the person with the most resilience and the most improved confidence. My year group then sang the song "when I grow up" from Matilda the musical. The end line of the song is "when I grow up I will be brave enough to fight the creatures that I have to fight underneath the bed each night to be a grown up" My teacher wanted me to sing this. So there was little 11 year old anna ruby singing her heart out to this line and all I could see was my teacher and mum crying their eyes out.
So there was my primary school experience.
I couldn't wait to start secondary school. But again teenage years happened. Hormones , friends , work. Even though some things that happened in my life shouldn't happen to a 13/14 year old I am now a happy 16 year old who appreciates the things that happened to me during my secondary school life as they've made me who I am.
When I started year 11 I couldn't wait. I've been the eldest in my year therefore I turned 16 before even going back to school. I've always felt more mature , more ready, more experienced for whatever year I am in. I was so determined to leave and was so excited.
But now it's easter holidays. When I go back to school I have 4 weeks and then thats it. I still have exams, but that's school life over. And now I'm not ready. The fact I can drive this year and will have to start looking at University's and actually figure my life out terrifies me.
I guess the whole point of this blog wasn't to tell you a sob story of my life ,because I don't think my life is a sob story everyone has bad experiences that stay with them and everyone has problems, but to tell you to appreciate where you are in life right now.
No matter if it's the happiest you have been : or the saddest.
Your life was planned out to shape you and give you a future.
Appreciate your experiences and wherever you are.
To everyone doing GCSE'S/ a-levels this summer, remember even though you will be stressed and scared, they are building skills and giving you life experience.
Always remember you are exactly where you need to be.
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| year 11 me what a poser |
anna-ruby xx
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